There’s something everyone loves about Thailand… It’s something you can’t quite name, though. It’s as if this place is a bit magical; as if nearly anything can happen.
And pretty much anything CAN happen, I firmly believe. And will. You may know this as “Murphy’s Law”. We’ve bumped into our friend Murphy while arranging accommodations here in Koh Tao, a beautiful island off Southern Thailand where we’ve been diving and playing in the water for several days.
Our first bungalow, suffice it to say, left a lot to be desired. When we arrived around 5:45 on Tuesday morning, fresh off the midnight boat, we were pretty punchy. We knew our scuba center, Scuba Junction, would be opening shortly for their morning dive, and made our way there. Because we were training and diving with this company, they cut us a deal on a bungalow. And what a deal it was!! For a mere 150 Baht per night (fewer than five US dollars), we made ourselves at home.
After a night, we started to realize this bungalow wasn’t exactly in tip-top shape. I don’t consider myself high-maintenance by any stretch (we did just sleep on the floor of a boat getting here), but our first bungalow didn’t pass muster. So we asked for a different one. Not an upgrade, just a different one bunglaow of the same variety, perhaps the tiniest bit better kept. Without moss sprouting from the bathroom’s water spigot, please. Scuba Junction gladly accommodated our request.
Our new bungalow was perfect! Tidy, tiny, and just ideal for us. However, I soon realized that there were more of “us” than I thought. After a full day of scuba training, we came back and crashed. I made my way to the bathroom, raised the lid, and got annoyed with Michael for not flushing. (Note: flushing here is a bit different. There’s a bucket of water next to the toilet, from which you scoop a few liters in. The waste goes away just like magic. This “flushes” the toilet just like ours, minus the handle.)
I move to flush the toilet. The thing in the toilet moves too. I scream. It’s a lizard!!! There’s a lizard living in our toilet!
My first calculated move, after the scream, was to slam down the toilet lid as fast as I can. Then I put my fist in my mouth so as not to cry like a little girl. There is a lizard. In our toilet. For Heavens’ sake. What do I do? I run (two or three steps) to where Michael is, lounging, all stretched out, and tell him there’s a lizard in our toilet. He laughs. “It’s a gecko.”
“It’s not a gecko. It’s a lizard! And it’s in our toilet.” Michael asks how big it is, and I respond that it’s approximately as big as I can stretch my arms out. For some reason, he doesn’t believe me. So he asks, in true Michael fashion, a few more questions, just to get a feel for the situation. “Are you sure it’s a lizard?” “Yes, I’m sure it’s a lizard!” Then he asks what it looks like. My not-so-patient response: “A @^&$ LIZARD, MICHAEL! It looks exactly like a lizard! Can you stop asking questions and help me get rid of it!?”
This is the part where the knight in shining armour saves the poor helpless damsel in distress. I was, and continue to be, pretty freaked out by the lizard. After inspecting said lizard, though, Michael was rather calm. He dumped bucket after bucket into the toilet, flushing the lizard back down. We were saved. No more lizard. He’s gone. For now.
And he did come back (this toilet is his home, after all). That first night I kept the bucket of water on top of the toilet’s lid, just to make sure our friend didn’t make his way out of the toilet and into our living quarters. Three’s a crowd, lizard! It has been somewhat disruptive to our bathroom habits, this checking for lizards prior to using the facilities, but we’ve come up with some new euphemisms for going to the bathroom. But remember, this is Thailand! Anything can (and will) happen!
Now that our advanced scuba certification is finishing, the deal on our bungalow ends. And in case you’re wondering, we are relocating. To a remote stretch of beach accessible only by foot or four-wheel drive. Hopefully the lizards there are nice.
To be continued…
The lizards and geckos are your friends! What other animal makes a nightly feast of insects that want to eat you in very tiny portions? I saw open the doors and welcome the lizards into your room. Lizards or mosquitoes… your choice.
Another note: don’t ever use the water that comes out of the spigot by the toilet for anything but washing away toilet stuff.
I am loving reading your blog and your descriptions make me feel like I’m right there with you!!! The pics are terrific and you look like you are really enjoying and experiencing this adventure to the fullest. May lizards be your only reptile encounter!!!!!
While Brooke might want to agree that lizards are the last reptile, I am hoping for many more, whether it be in the forest, the game park, or the toilet. But, what an unsettling situation everytime we decide to use the bathroom! I will never forget ‘going to see the lizard’.
What a delightful “encounter of the gecko kind” story, Brooke! I am sorry to say, however, you did come across as a girl—which, of course, you are. I think you painted a very vivid picture and as I read your story, it was almost as if I was there with you…screaming! Please keep posting and I can’t wait to read about that remote stretch of beach U 2 will be visiting 🙂 Luv ya’, Auntie M
Margaret, thanks for all your posts. We are glad that you keep up with us and I hope that Brooke makes you feel like are with us! Your posts and comments are very welcomed and we can not thank you enough!
B, Thank you for starting out my day with huge guffaws of laughter. Even Denis came running to see what was so funny! I am glad I raised such a brave young man, able and willing to fight lizards for his beloved!! xxx xxx